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An internet poll of 45,000 women conducted through the AOL Women`s Channel in the UK, has found that only 36% are "fairly happy" with their bodies and 9% want to change their looks completely. A mere 4% admitted they are "completely happy".The stomach area was the area most women preferred to shape up, followed by hips, breasts, and bottoms.

Another survey conducted at a US College, asked 350 students what mattered most about their bodies - strength, health, attractiveness etc. Some were asked to put on swimsuits and asked questions about their bodies. Most of them said they felt "disgusted, "ashamed" or "disgraced". But the surprising thing was that thin women were just as likely to say they felt ugly as heavy ones.

At Sue Rice, we see thousands of women of all ages and shapes, every year. We would agree that 95% of women are unhappy with their bodies and the most unhappy are the ones who have least justification. It`s the women who look fabulous in everything they try on who are most likely to be self critical.

It`s not just a Western phenomenon either. Every culture seems to have women who hate their bodies. Sydney is a very cosmopolitan place with most nationalities of women represented and it seems that women all over the world are obsessed with their bodies. Every culture has invented ways to mutilate, change, reduce or hide some part of their body: tatooing in one country, fattening you up in another, and extreme makeovers in another, but all are self absorbed in some way.

Women are their own worst enemies. Our Western society has evolved with all it`s materialistic rules of behaviour and we have all become really good little girls, doing the right thing, trying to live up to an unachievable ideal of perfection, spending our lives dieting, fixing and reshaping ourselves into something we are not. It`s like battling against death...it`s going to fail. That`s what is so heartbreaking. It`s a battle we`re all going to lose if we are to get to a ripe old age. At what point do we give up the fight? At what point do we say "this is my body and I`m happy with it just as it is" without judging it`s appearance? It seems to be a very difficult thing to do.

We are all bombarded with images of perfection on a daily basis. Yet ironically, these images are manufactured in the false environment of a studio by a cast of thousands; producers, directors, makeup artists, hairdressers, stylists, graphic designers etc etc. The finished ad is more vivid than life, more perfect than perfection, yet we try to emulate it. Are we crazy? Noone can look as good as the completed image of the fashion model. Not even the models and actors themselves can be that perfect. Any wonder that we women are in a malaise of despondency and despair. We all desire perfection, but we find ourselves with no way to attain it.

Well, where to from here? The endless pursuit of beauty has actually made us more depressed. The promise that beauty can be "bought" in a bottle, a pill or a garment will inevitably fail at making us more beautiful. Instead it has made us more ashamed of our bodies. It`s made us into desperate, hard, hateful self-judges with no compassion for our bodies at all.

The only answer to this downward spiral of despair is within each individual. We must realise that it is ultimately our choice to keep following the dictates of the media like sheep and it`s equally our choice to turn our backs on all the hype. But there`s one thing even worse than the beauty trap. It`s the blame game. It`s much easier to make the evil media responsible than face up to our own choices. But by blaming the advertisers and filmmakers, we keep giving them the power over us that keeps the machine going. It`s got to be an inner decision we all make towards contentment with ourselves just as we are, or we are the ones that will keep suffering. It`s as simple as that.

However, we don`t need to go to the other extreme, "let ourselves go", turn into hippies, hairy legged, letting our breasts run free (unless we want to of course - Peace Baby!). It`s an attitudinal change. We can still lose weight to feel better about ourselves; still wear clothes that accentuate our breasts; still enjoy wearing lipstick. It`s when the image controls us, when it diminishes and undermines our essential selves that it becomes a problem.

Therefore, the best thing we can do for ourselves and the next generation of girls is to learn to love ourselves fully, give up blaming our parents, the advertisers, our ex-husbands and anyone else we let control us.

Love your body. Say kind things to it and about it. Pamper it. Nourish it. Exercise it. Appreciate it. Learn to look in the mirror and smile at all those marvellous imperfections that make you uniquely you. You`ll be happier, more self confident and you`ll radiate all that light and uplifted energy out to everyone you meet. Instead of being depressed, you might even inspire someone to love themselves too.

Be Happy. Be You.