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LETTING GO OF SUMMER SWIMSUIT FEAR

A Celebration of Swimsuit Fearlessness.

Summer`s almost here!

As swimsuit season arrives, so many of us duck for cover, dreading the exposure of skin. Peeling off the winter layers in public exposes the comfort food storage from winter. But who decided we had to get rid of it? We might need it next time we are stranded in the Sahara.

I like Gwyneth Paltrow who said "I don`t know who decided that skinny was more appealing than not skinny. It seems arbitrary."

"Never fear", we are told by the magazine editors who are no doubt skinny, "pre-summer panic can be your friend. Even if you`ve slacked off in winter and binged on muffins and chips, there`s still time to get into amazing shape. And hey, even if you don`t make it, there`s plenty of swimsuits available for your figure type".

Yeah right! Good one!

The pressure to be thin is extreme. The token efforts the magazines make with their "swimwear for different shapes" stories every year only adds to the despair of anyone bigger than a size 12.

Some women find summer very humiliating. Melanie Figaro, Executive Director of Gurze Books and author of "the Rules of "Normal" Eating", writes: "Summer was always the hardest time of year for me. Just the smell of summer approaching brought on sheer terror that I would have to go another hot season hiding out in my house isolating because I was ashamed of what people would think about my body. I missed many BBQ`s, beach parties, and other outdoor activities in heat that required less clothing than I felt comfortable with" Melanie related

"What`s interesting" she continued, "is that it`s not so much about the bathing suit. It really isn`t. It`s what the bathing suit represents. And if my body didn`t look "right", the bathing suit represented rejection (and the fear of it), of not fitting in, of being judged, of being made fun of. Of one more time, not being popular or worthy. I was so terrified of criticism, which I thought would be much worse than the negative chatter swirling in my head. If I could think of such horrible things to say to myself, what would someone else utter?"

Melanie finally had an epiphany, "realistically, I don`t think anyone was judging or scrutinizing me (never ever to the extent that I was scrutinizing myself). And even more so, if they were, who cares? If someone didn`t think I looked good enough in my suit, so what?"

Bravo Melanie

Like Melanie, Kim Brittingham in her recently published book, "Read My Hips: How I Learned to Love My Body, Ditch Dieting and Live Large", writes about her struggles going to the beach and captures beautifully what it feels like to finally enjoy yourself, despite your shape. She writes:

"I was weightless. I was the water and the water was me. I arched my back like a porpoise and dove under a coming wave. I emerged laughing. Somehow, here, in the ocean, I existed in a state of high energy and complete tranquility, all at the same time. I could feel the space inside my body turning a serene pale blue as I merged with watery surroundings."

"When I returned to the beach, I was smiling. I walked with ease. Maybe I even sashayed. Droplets of cold water on my skin evaporated quickly under the streaming sun. Maybe this is what they call being in perfect harmony with nature. At the very least, I can confidently call it bliss."

"Some fat girls avoid going to the beach because they don`t want to be seen. They don`t want to expose themselves to harsh criticism, even when it`s unspoken. I used to be one of those girls, too."

"There were other people on the beach with me, and in the water. I was aware of them. I even talked with some of them. But the whole gorgeous, invigorating experience of the day at the beach was entirely mine. It had nothing to do with those other people, or what they were thinking or feeling in the same moment. Nor did the experience have anything to do with my cellulite, the thickness of my arm, the protrusion of my belly, or my double chin."

"I walk the beach in a bathing suit because I want to immerse myself in the entire sensual environment. I want to feel the sand on my skin, stuck to my sunscreen in gritty, exfoliating bits. I want to see the salt dried in little white rings on the tops of my thighs. I want the coolness of the water rushing between my legs, I want the heat of the sun freckling my shoulders. I want the vapours of coconut suntan lotion in my hair. I want a wedgie full of pebbles. I do."

"And I`m not about to swaddle myself in towels, sulk under an umbrella, and limit my personal joy because of what might be going on in somebody else`s private mind."

Kim`s right. Joy and Beauty are not to be found in judgement of yourself or the perceived judgment by others. So just go for it. Immerse yourself in summer. The swimsuit is not the main game, just a vehicle to have fun.